May 2009 Archives

On Counseling

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Yesterday we had a case conference at the clinic in Kitahama. Two doctors and two counselors including me attended and discussed the cases. In the evening, I wrote an article in my Japanese Blog what I had learned so far on counseling. After I uploaded the article, I read it again and found that all I wrote was exactly the same to what I had been taught by my teachers.
1) About rapport; This is the first thing we learned in counseling training. In the first stage of counseling, we should establish what Dreikurs called a "therapeutic relationship." It contains ideas as mutual respect, mutual trust, cooperation and goal alliance, which you may know well.
2) About questions along the line to the goal; Once a client and counselor agree on the counseling goal, every conversation should be designed toward it. It is easy to say but difficult to do. However, Dr. Noda says (and I guess Dreikurs also said) every seemingly reluctance of client comes from the discordance of the goals. Yes, I come to know every strand in counseling comes from a lack of goal alliance. If both client and counselor definitely know the goal, they will not lose their way. There may be several ways to reach the goal, so a counselor has some liberty to choose one. Once the road has been chosen, every question counselor asks must be on that road to the destination. This may be most important in the second and third stages of counseling, the interpretation and the confrontation stages.
3) About positiveness; We learned it as "positive reframing" in the training. It is especially important in the fourth, the re-orientation stage. The client's life style being interpreted so far is a result of his/her childhood fantasy, so we should reframe it from an adult's point of view. Adler once said "Everything has another aspect." When the client does not want to change (reframe) his/her life style and nevertheless does not like the present situation, we are going to positively reframe the situation. For example, a woman believes she cannot live alone and should be protected, and she uses panic disorder to make people protect her. But if she does not think it inconvenient, counselor may tell her "OK, keep your sickness. You must not discard it. Remember, it is your Joker!" She may laugh, and the therapy will be over.
Thus, all these things I thought I found in cases were well-known, basic principles of Adlerian Psychology. What a fool I am! I have needed seven years to digest the discipline.

Old Friendship

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Recently, I have received two invitations to renew old friendship.
One was from the alumnae reunion of Kobe College. It is a girls' school established by a missionary in the Meiji era. I entered to the Junior High department and graduated from English Literature Department. It means that I went to the same place for ten years without boys! Anyway, the alumnae reunion is active, and they used to have the old girls' meeting once in three years. Unfortunately, the day of meeting this summer is not convenient for me, so I sent an answer that I could not come.
Another invitation was from a man I knew when I was young. I liked traveling and often used youth hostels. There was a small youth hostel among the mountains of the north side of Fukuyama City, Hiroshima. The manager, we call it "parent," of that youth hostel was an old woman, very warm, energetic and clever. Her husband opened the hostel, but he died of the aftereffects of the atomic bomb. After his death, she kept on running the hostel, taking care of many young people visiting her from all over Japan, and even from other countries. She herself did not have a child, and she loved youngsters, nourishing and healing them like a real mother. Exactly, she called every one of us her child, and we called her "Mama." In my early twenties, I used to visit there just to see Mama and stay a few days, or sometimes a week. She died last spring of 98 years old. Oh I got many things from her!
The letter was from one of her "children." He is planning a meeting and asked me to come. He intends to invite 30 people in the Kinki district, and many of the names I know. The date will be in September and it is not impossible for me to attend. My ex-husband is also invited, so I am suspending my answer for a while.

A Sweets Fanatic

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I have some early recollections on sweets, sweet shops and my family.
My favorite was madeleine of YUCHHEIM, one of the oldest confectionery shops in Kobe. Grandfather knew it well and used to give madeleines and baumkuchens to his grandchildren. I was weak those days, and often ran a fever for otitis media. Once in a while in those occasions, Mother bought puddings at YUCHHEIM because I could eat them though in fever. They were baked in ceramic mold cups. My brother and I kept the cups and used them for play. The cups were ivory color, small and thick, and rather round.

zakuro.jpgGrandmother of Mother's side lived in Motomachi, downtown area in Kobe. MOTOMACHI-CAKE shop was another good old shop to me. Relatives often gathered for memorial services in her house, and it was fun to play with cousins there. Our best pleasure was walking to MOTOMACHI-CAKE together to buy our sweets. Grandmother let us choose our favorite cakes. I remember the glass showcases full of decorated shortcakes. Most popular one was called "zakuro," for the shape was similar to pomegranate. The sponge was softest ever, and a large amount of cream and a big red strawberry was placed in the center.

When I was in Junior High, Grandmother and Mother and I went to Daimaru Department store in Motomachi and bought one cloth of yukata. We chose an indigo cloth with white flowers. Grandmother sewed the first summer kimono with the cloth to me. After shopping, she took me to MOROZOFF tearoom on the ground floor. There she recommended a plate of pudding eagerly and I tried it for the first time. It was surprisingly different from any puddings I had eaten, very large and soft.
Those are my happy memories of childhood. I am slightly ashamed that I was very fond of sweet things and was particular about tastes. It seemed I put values in the taste, but not in the amount of them. Might I be a gourmet?

Taro and Me

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taro.JPGI have a potted plant whose name is imo-nishiki, Taro the Beauty. It is one of the clones of Dr. Noda's favorite foliage plant. When I moved to Osaka, he gave me one as a present. As far as I know, another clone of Taro is adopted by another Adlerian. My taro was in good condition during winter. It was getting warm, so I put the pot out in the verandah. I was glad to see it growing bathed in sunlight. However, recently, the tips of some leaves of Taro have changed to brown. I wonder if they were damaged by wind or heat as my house is on the tenth floor.
It was very windy yesterday. While working in clinic, I was always thinking of my taro's condition. I imagined the taro swinging violently and the leaves rustling madly. I could not stand the vision, and told Dr. Noda that I wanted to go home as soon as the work was over, and liked to save my taro. He exclaimed "Oh, you are overprotecting! Just like a boy's mother." I felt ashamed, but I am often excessively indulgent in fact. I went home and put the pot into the room. My taro seemed to be glad when he was rescued.

A Happy Report

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My daughter sent me a letter. She read a letter to her father at the wedding reception in Tottori, and she sent a message separately to me. The letter deeply moved me. It will be my treasure. I called her the next day to say thanks, and she told me everything happened in her wedding ceremony and the reception. Her story was continued more than two hours! She is famous for chattering from her childhood.
The ceremony was conducted by a Shinto priest, negi, of the branch of Izumo Taisha Shrine. Daughter has been working as a medium, miko, there. So, when the priest recited the ritual prayer, norito, it was full of love and dignity, so holy that some relatives began to weep already. I think the god was really visiting them.
As for the wedding reception, daughter and her husband had planned it all by themselves and canceled the unnecessary things they thought such as cake cutting and candle service. It was their first opportunity of showing themselves to the university people as a couple. One of my daughter's friends wept at the first sight of their entering side by side, and that made daughter weep also. Funny to say, she had to leave her seat to repair her makeup. And the professors' speeches were very warm to them. When daughter read a letter to her father, her friends cried and even the teachers shed tears.
I think daughter's new relatives began to know her for the first time. That is, how she was brought up, how she had made friends, how she had studied in schools. They had known her only from one side, as a young fiancee whom the bridegroom fell in love. I am the one who recommended them strongly to have a ritual ceremony and a reception in Tottori. Although I did not attend them, I am satisfied to be a prompter hiding behind the stage.

Unexpected Coziness

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There is a bus stop very near my apartment house. I found that the bus came from the JR Osaka station. One evening I tried the bus route, and I was astonished by the unexpected beauty of this town. Yes, it is very crowded around the Osaka and the Umeda stations. The Mido Avenue is crowded with people, cars, buses and taxis, as most of you may know.

cityhall.JPGBut when the bus comes across around Osaka City Hall, Naka-no-shima, the view from the bus window has totally changed. Naka-no-shima (Middle Island) is located in between the Dojima River and the Tosabori River. Thanks for these rivers, the sky seems to be wider than in the Umeda area. The City Hall building is rather new, but grand and beautiful. There are many trees along the river, and I feel like walking such an alley among office workers.
The bus turns left and goes into Tosabori Street. It goes straight eastward and turns south at the corner of the Dawn Center. There you can see Osaka Castle to the left. There is the moat of the castle and the boulevard of cherry trees near Ote-mon Gate. To the right, there are grand buildings of Osaka Prefecture Government, the Osaka Police Office, Osaka Family Court, and National Hospital. I guess this street, Uemachi-Avenue, is one of the most beautiful avenues in Osaka.
house1.JPGBefore I came to live in Osaka, my impression of Osaka was not very good. As I was born and brought up in Kobe, all I knew were Umeda and Namba, the most messy shopping districts in Osaka. So I thought Osaka was so crowded, noisy and sometimes dirty, so many people walking too fast, that it was not a place to live in. However, I have found there are many cozy places. As well as the places I mentioned before, the alleys around my house are comfortably neat. I found many attractive buildings and houses. People seem to love and enjoy their living here.
house3.JPG


I get off the bus at the stop before one to the terminal, and it is just two or three minutes apart from my house. It takes 25 minutes from the JR Osaka station. It takes longer than using subway, but I much prefer to see views from bus windows, to from subway windows!

The Magic Key

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(...continued from Gain from Defeat)

However, I noticed that there were some things we could not learn without attending the Counselor Training Course. It might be some art or be some kind of philosophy I do not know. I wanted to know what it was. I had no idea of becoming a professional counselor, no. But I believed I could get something if I could receive the counseling training. It seemed that there was a key of a hidden door which lead me to the utmost secret of Adlerian Psychology. However, I came to have a strong desire to get the counselor's license while receiving the training. Fortunately and accidentally, I got it in 2002.
Seven years has passed since then. Have I found the key? Could I find the secret of Adlerian Psychology? Dr. Noda once told me "The key is to KNOW that Adlerian Psychology IS magic. If you really know that, then you can use it."
I had some experience in a Spiritual Work more than two years ago. Licensed counselors were placed each in a group of five or six members. We were directed to do vipassana counseling, one of the techniques of spiritual counseling. About this, we all learned first time. We were afraid to misuse the art, respected it, and treated it very carefully. In that occasion, Adlerian Psychology was really magic for us. We were the disciples of a wizard, doing blindly all inexperienced little witches could do.
Not only in the spiritual counseling, we should treat respectfully the magic of Adlerian Psychology in all opportunities. We have learned spells such as open-ended questions, circulatory questions, meta-messages, closed-ended questions for interpretation. It is a matter of technique to study those strictly constructed spells. These spells are put in the front yard so that anyone can take and use. But the key is perhaps a matter of our understanding, our consiousness; a knowledge of the meaning of the knowledge. The real key to open the hidden door is to know that Adlerian Psychology is the only one magic, without which we can never get along.

The Day of Wedding

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Today is the day of my daughter's wedding ceremony. From Kobe, her father and brother, grandfather and grandmother, and aunt and uncle attend the ceremony. The bridegroom's parents, sisters and the husband are to attend from Kagawa, and his brother's family are from Obihiro. He had graduated from Hokkaido University, so some of his teachers there also come. Other guests are their professors, teachers, colleagues, and friends. I am very glad that they finally have an opportunity to let the people know their marriage and be heartily congratulated. I believe they are waiting for this day long and are very happy now.
Daughter told me the other day that she felt sorry I would not come this time. But as I wrote before, I attended the party in Kagawa on April 3, and saw her in the wedding garment on April 25. Moreover, I am the only person who has visited their new sweet home. She said, "I see, you are just like a student of honors." Yes, I am. So do not miss me. I am satisfied that I pray for your happiness here.

A Present Two Weeks Late

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I went to my parents' house in Kobe. I gave my mother a Mother's Day present. It was a Swany's walking bag for old ladies.
My brother and I were brought up in Nada, one of the eastern area in Kobe. But we went to an elementary school in Fukiai (Center) area. It meant that we were going to shool outside our shool zone. Our mother got a driving license then, and every morning she drove us to school. It took about 15 minutes from home to school by car. I remember that brother and I sat on the rear seat, mother was driving, and we had some conversations. We came home alone, riding a tram (later, a bus) and walking about ten minutes.
This April, mother had become 80 years old. We asked her not to drive any more, but she is too used to drive a car to give up her driving license. She likes to keep on going to a nearby market by car. My brother's wife gave her a parasol, and this time I found a convenient, light walking bag in a department store. I chose the color brown. She seemed to like it. I asked her to walk to the market with this. She said she would use it from tomorrow. I hope she will not store it in the trunk of the car.

Delicious Downtown 2

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This is Friday, the day I search for a good lunch. Today I chose GOKAN (Five Senses), a famous patisserie in Osaka. This store is rather new, has started about four or five years before, but already famous for the good taste. They chose an old-fashioned building in Kitahama for their head store. On the ground floor they sell many kinds of baked confectionery. We can eat on the second floor. The restaurant floor is spaciously consisted of small and large rooms.

gokan.JPGAt lunch time, they prepare dejeuner (lunch) set. As you see, on the plate there are a croissant and a brioche, a large amount of salad, slices of ham, cheese, and a piece of cake. I am glad that they serve either a pot of coffee or tea. It costs 850 yen and tax. Don't you think it is fairly reasonable? I am glad I can take a rest in such cozy places every week.

Metaphysicist and Materialist

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dinner.JPGLast evening, I had a gorgeous dinner in Osaka. The director of the clinic of Kitahama invited his staff to an exclusive club restaurant of Osaka Bar Association. It was on the 14th floor of a tremendously gorgeous building. The three of the four walls of the room were made of glass, so we could see the marvelous view of illuminated Town Hall and bridges across the Dojima River. The tail lights of cars were running continuously along freeways.
The director of the clinic was a researcher of narrative based medicine. He and Dr. Noda talked on a universal rule and local rules on psychotherapy. A pharmacist talked eagerly on the system of education of undergraduate and graduate students. I always liked listening to intelligent people discussing on metaphysical topics. They looked young and vivid when they talked on what they were specialized or interested in. We enjoyed our dinner, conversation, and the landscape.
When the dinner was almost over, a lawyer who did a favor of reserving the room appeared. It was a rare opportunity for me to see that kind of man. He might be a VIP, a politician. He boasted the building and the furnitures (one chair cost more than 100,000 yen), and laughed and laughed, talked and talked, promised many things which almost had no value to me; i.e., he would reserve that room any time or he could invite some entertainer for us, and so on. There was an amazingly big difference between our unworldly colleagues and that materialistic man.

Energy Dance

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This morning I read:

Bodhidharma has said the ultimate truth: There is nothing to be attained, no goal to be reached, no target. Life is a playful creativity with no goal as such. It is not going anywhere, it is not moving in any direction. It is a playful energy. It is just energy dancing for no purpose, for the simple joy of dancing. Existence is a dance.
--- from THE WHITE LOTUS by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

The other day I wrote about the "whole." I noticed it was a matter of energy. To feel the wider energy is a clue. When I feel the energy around me is depressive and miserable, my attention is concentrated on a small part of the whole. As Bhagwan says, life is a dancing energy like a tide coming and going. Some parts are still, other parts are lively. Therefore, if you can see all parts from a high place, they are, as a whole, just a playful dance. We are in a big joyous game, laughing and crying, enjoying and grieving, being grateful, or, unaware. Life is a big theater of energy. Therefore, I am to find my role in this play. I can make a play either a comedy or a tragedy.

Gain from Defeat

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I actually knew Adlerian Psychology by "Smile" when my daughter was six and my son was two. It was 17 years ago. After a long interval, I learned the Adlerian way of parenting again by "Passage" in 1999. In the same year, I took the Basic Course of Theory, and thought that Adlerian Psychology was a very good, useful knowledge. Foolishly enough, at that time I did not know how little had I learned of the precious knowledge.
One Friday evening, I attended the Counseling Seminar in Adler Guild. They were studying on early recollections by chance. I was surprised that I could not understand any word of theirs. No, not a word! It was natural that I could not connect the knowledge to the real cases then, as Adlerian Psychology is an art of practice. However, I had never tasted such a defeat throughout my life. I felt miserable and wanted to learn more. When I did not go through that wreck, I might not continue learning Adlerian Psychology.
Anyway, I kept on attending seminars and case studies afterward. I got a license of Passage Leader in 2000 and started a self-help study group, Pont au Courage of Kobe. By facilitaiting the group one time of every month, gradually I had learned to connect the art of Adlerian Psychology and the real cases.

(continues to The Magic Key)

Unexpected Holiday

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herbpark1.JPGI went to Kobe Nunobiki Herb Park with a friend from Hokkaido. There is a wide park of variety of herbs. It is among one of the hills of the Rokko Mountains. So we escaped from downtown, threw off the masks, rode a ropeway to top of the hills of clear air. From the hills, we could enjoy splendid scenery of Kobe. It was a beautiful day. There was not any cloud in the sky and we felt comfortable wind.

herbpark2.JPGIn Herb Park, there were all kinds of herbs. Not only the so-called herbs such as rosemary, thyme, lavender, mint, basil, and roses, there were also tea, coffee, chicory, pepper, laurel and even dokudami, and so on. They were taking care of the plants carefully and the park was kept very clean. We touched the leaves softly, and the scent suddenly came up. We breathed deeply and enjoyed the fragrance one by one. We sat on a bench on a hill and, of course, chat a lot.
Afterward, we returened to downtown, strolled around the souvenir shops, ate lunch, and went into a cake shop. I wanted her to try the delicious cake of Kobe. I hope she was satisfied with it. We said good-bye at the airport limousine bus stop at Sannomiya. About half of the crowd in the street was wearing masks. Never mind the infection!
Thanks to her, I was fully satisfied with my unexpected holiday.

Sleep Late

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Yesterday, I got up at five to ten. The Counseling Seminar in Adler Guild would start at half past ten. Gee! I washed my face and thought of what the best way was to save time. I gave up my breakfast and did not give up my make-up. I got myself ready in a great hurry. It was ten past ten when I left home. I walked very fast and reached the nearby station at fifteen. When I got on the subway at Umeda station, it was already twenty-five.
I got off at Nishi-Nakajima-Minamikata station. Somehow, I went down the stairs at the south end of the station even though I usually use the north one. I went out from the southern exit, so it took five more minutes than usual. It is my lifestyle that I always make mistakes when I am upset or in a hurry....
I was ten minutes late when I finally went into the session room of Adler Guild . I am sorry! I think I could come for five minutes late if I did not mistake the stairs, or I could even come in time if I did not make me up.

A New Type of Flu

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I heard the new type of influenza virus was detected in Kobe. My brother is hospitalized in Kobe City Medical Center General Hospital and the patients of the new type of flu are sent to the same hospital. He told me that our mother sent him an email this morning saying that he should not walk around in the hospital. What an over-protecting mother she is! He is over 50 now, but he is still a small boy for her. I think my mother and father should be careful about themselves!
puta.JPGAnyway, the first patient in Kobe is a student of Hyogo Prefectural Kobe High School where my daughter went. Many schools of the area have decided to close the classes for one week. Pont au Courage in May scheduled on coming Monday will be canceled, too.
I think mass media make too many unnecessary noises on this. Of course, I do not want to be infected by any type of influenza. So I will wash my hands, gargle, and put mask on. Just some usual prevention for flu will do.
This is "Puta," a present from my son. He says, "I am innocent!"

Here and Now

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I saw a swallow chirping above this morning. It was on the electric wire and I could see its red throat. It is spring.
Recently in morning meditation, I try to be aware of "here and now." Just sit and close your eyes, then you notice many birds are singing. Sparrows, or others, are chirping like continuous altos. Now and then, sharp soprano cries are heard. Sometimes crows croak out high above the sky. Then you hear the wind, the rustles of the leaves. You may notice sounds of your town, voices of people passing by. And maybe sounds of your refrigerator or some electrics make.
Listening to all sounds around, I am in the world here and now. I seem to be just floating in it. While I sense the whole, I try to whisper some mantras. My voice melts in accord with the sounds around. I guess it is like an orchestra. One makes a note, listening to other instruments, and the note melts and dissolves in harmony with others.
Then I open my eyes. I see leaves of a tree tremble, then leaves of another tree slowly start stirring, and it spreads to another. The wind is walking on trees.
My mind stops for those moments...but it does not last. After a glimpse, the awareness gone, every beautiful sound becomes a noise and that incredible sensation perishes. Again, ordinary, dull "I" comes back.

Pigeon Lovers

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The management company of my apartment building seems to dislike pigeons. They set huge net that covers the whole building, so we should always see the landscape through the net outside the balcony. Moreover, they set up iron needles along the windowsills of the outside stairs. I guess they are trying to prevent pigeons and crows, and perhaps, thieves too.

ernie&bert.jpegHowever, there are people who like pigeons. I remember puppets named Ernie and Bert in Sesame Street. Do you know that Bert loves pigeons? Perhaps you know Ernie loves a yellow rubber duck and always takes a bath with it (him). Once or twice I heard Bert singing a song for his friend pigeon. He was dancing and walking like a pigeon with the song. (I found it in You Tube.) People have tamed pigeons and doves to carry messages for centuries, so it is natural there are many pigeon lovers. My son liked pigeons, too. When he was in the first grade of elementary school, he made a big wall newspaper for his first free study of summer vacation, and titled it "Hato-poppo Shinbun (The Pigeon Press)." He drew a big but rough anatomical sketch of a pigeon. From those old days, he liked drawing creatures around him.... See a picture I added to the other day's entry.

A Dentist's Wife

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I go to a dentist every three months. I have no toothache, and the dentist teaches me how to brush teeth to prevent dental diseases. His wife about 40 years old is always in the reception. First time I went there, she was eager to talk to me because I lived in Tsukaguchi, Amagasaki, then, and they once lived around there. She asked me, "Do you know a spaghetti restaurant TANTO? Is the restaurant still open now? My favorite was bacon and eggplant spaghetti" and so on. When I went to Netherlands for ICASSI two years ago and to Lithuania for ICIP last year, she was very excited asking me many questions about my trips to those countries. Now, she is very much interested in the place I live.
She asked me, "Is there a High School near your house?" I said I did not know. She said, "I once went to visit the High School, but there was a very similar building in front of the school, so I mistook them and went into that building. That building was of a Religious Society! Those buildings were very similar and I was foolish enough to mistake them!" She continued, "And there was a shrine next to them, and it was ...." Then I recognized the place she was talking about.
I wonder how she knows that I am not a believer of that religion. I think she is a cute person who respects her husband as a genius. But I think she must be more careful for her words in conversation with the patients!

Email Unreceived

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I could not receive some emails which has been sent. One told me she sent me twice, but my mailer did not accept them for sure. As I am using the mailer with a Yahoo address, I opened the Yahoo Internet site and check the Yahoo email folder. I found more than ten emails in a "spam mail folder" including hers and others! I had received mails from the same addresses many times before, and suddenly the Yahoo site started blocking them. I do not know why on earth they did such a foolish thing. The emails in this inbox are deleted in one week. So there might have been more emails I did not read and been deleted already. For the present solution, I lengthen it to one month. I shall check this inbox frequently. Anybody sent me email and did not receive my answer, please forgive me. I am sorry there is a possibility that your email was not read.

Good Job!

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My son came to my house with his computer and showed me two films he made. The first one was an animation movie of 4 or 5 minutes he made last fall.

yuya.jpgHe attached pictures to a song of Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Walking About." He made a story that a white dog ran away from its home, regreted the deed and returned to the family again. He made the dog walk and run and play in a park with other dogs. The movements of the dogs were very funny and I liked the film. I asked him to save it in my USB memory and he did.
The second one was a video movie he is now making. This one was made to Cornelius' song "Point." First, he chose the song and took videos according to his image of the song. He took videos in his university, the art room, the corridor, grounds and the streets, sights from the windows of JR train, etc.. Then he stored all the video data to his PC and cut, separated, or repeated, connected the scenes. He laid the scenes on and on, layer after layer. It seemed to be a very delicate job. For example, the plaster figures in art room were changing direction of their faces into right and left to the rhythm of the song. I liked it very much too, but as he made it with Adobe Professional software, I could not ask him to save. The program was too heavy for my PC.
I guess my son's films are so-called collaboration between music and pictures. Though there are about 20 members in his movie club, except him, almost all of them make movies with actors. Last night I found him really enjoying such careful, attentive work. I am sure it has been taking much of his time! I wonder when he studies to be a teacher....

Fruit of Early Summer

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konatsu.JPG

My favorite fruit of this season is konatsu. It literally means "small summer." I do not eat citrus much, but I once ate konatsu in Kochi several years ago and was surprised at the refreshing taste. They are sour but sweet, and extremely juicy. The color is lemon-yellow but has rounder shape. Whenever I go to Kochi in early summer, I buy them with boxes and send them to my family and me. I thought we could buy them only in the Kochi area, but the other day I found them in a fruit shop of the nearby market. The price was not as reasonable as in Kochi, but I bought some. Now they are gleaming like small summer suns on my kitchen table.

Not a Good Wife, Nor a Wise Mother

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I talked with my daughter last night on the phone. She is busy preparing for her wedding ceremony in Tottori. She should order presents for the attendance and write messages on the name cards in the banquet. There will be guests coming from distant areas such as Kagawa, Kobe, and even from Hokkaido. So she and her husband should reserve hotel rooms, restaurants and hairdressers for them. I guess to arrange all those things by themselves must be very confusing and stressful.... As I cannot help her, I feel sorry for her.
However, last night she said to me: I wanted to get the master's degree of agriculture in Tottori and had hesitated to get married to him so soon. But seeing your way, I found I could study after marriage, even after child rearing. You are my model, Mother, and if you were an ordinary mother (I mean a kind of good wife and wise mother), I had never known such way of living, nor could I decide this marriage.
I was very glad.... So I told her: I am glad if my way of living did anything to you. As you know I started learning Adlerian Psychology after you had entered elementary school. I think you can study any time, in any place. Yes, you will have many many years to learn. You have gained many things in these four years. Why not you can get more new things from now on, teachers and friends and knowledge? So you do not have to hurry. I am sure you can do it with him!

Delicious Downtown

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On Fridays I work in Kitahama as a counselor in a mental clinic. When I started this job last fall, I did counseling 4 cases a day. In spring, the director's wife had something to do in the counseling room, so I reduced the cases from 4 to 3. Recently, I did 2 cases in the morning and 1 in the afternoon. From 1 o'clock to 3 the members of the clinic staff use the room and I go out to take lunch.
Kitahama is a clean, beautiful district in the midst of Osaka. I like spending time there. There are Osaka Stock Exchange and many other old buildings. Most of them had been built around the Taisho era, and many of them have been renewed and reconstructed keeping the old fashioned appearances. They are used as restaurants and shops now.
sandwitch.JPGToday I had a good appetite and took lunch in a cozy building facing the Dojima River. From the windows of the second floor, I could see a rose garden in Nakanoshima. Today's lunch set was sandwiches with tomato and cheese, potato, cucumber and lettuce. See this volume! It cost only one thousand yen including a pot of tea, and a slice of pound cake with whip cream.
At 4 o'clock in the evening, I finished counseling and went home. As I felt so-oo tired, I went to bed immediately. I slept deeply one hour, and woke up. I regret to say I could not go out again to attend the Case Study in Adler Guild. I used to go there after 4 cases of counseling in fall, but I felt very much exhausted in those days. I had many questions to teachers and senior counselors there, but my brain had already stopped then, could not concentrate my attention. My engine was seemed to be burnt out. I hope I can attend next Friday.... Perhaps I ate too much for lunch today. Eating full makes one drowsy.

Goldfish Roe

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My son ran a booth of goldfish scoop in a Festival of University. It was in November. He brought home some goldfish remaining in the pool and was taking care of them. In April, he found roe in the goldfish bowl. He said it seemed just like scattered herring roe, kazunoko, in the water. He separated the roe from goldfish in case they ate it. One month has passed and he is unhappy because roe has not yet hatched. I guess he needs an efficient midwife for goldfish.

New Research Is Canceled

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As for the new research I wrote on April 17, I had asked 3 Passage leaders for cooperation, but 2 of them rejected. I can understand the leaders want to protect the mood of their courses. It is possible that members of the course will feel tension if I record it. As there are not many Passage courses held before the Congress, and it will take time to analyze the recording, I asked my supervisor Dr. Noda whether we could continue it or not. Sorry to say, we have decided to cancel this research. Perhaps this kind of research is too new to be accepted. Personally, I feel a little relieved. I am afraid I do not have much time to remain these days.

Alternatives

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A magpie, kasasagi, is bird which is slightly smaller than a crow. I do not know why our teacher named the workshop "Kasasagi-za." "Za" perhaps signifies a theatrical group. In the workshop, counselors are called "directors." They make clients' episodes into dramas. When the client and the other members play the episode, we can see what is happening in the real situation. Then the directors usually call a conference and discuss the alternative action. When the alternative action is decided, the client tries it in the play. The alternatives are sometimes a speech and sometimes a body action. Such small changes can alter the clients' whole body and atmosphere, and the communication between the clients and the identified people change dramatically.
In my opinion, Kasasagi-za is a powerful therapy, but it can be regarded as a show. To imitate Kasasagi-za method in usual counseling is dangerous. To figure the clients' lifestyle and suggest the appropriate alternatives toward their better relationship is a master's job. Moereover, the important thing is that the alternatives should encourage the clients to act toward the communication of respect, contribution, cooperation, and responsibility. As we are not mature nor efficient enough, we should listen to clients' stories deliberately and ponder them over and over. We must warn ourselves not to rely on our instinct. It seems to be an easy path, but it can mislead us to the bushes.

cya.jpegAnyway, I stayed home all day today and have seen two movies. Both are Japanese films. One is "12 Gentle Japanese Men" about a jury system directed by Koki Mitani. The second one is "The Taste of Tea" by Katsuhito Ishii and I prefer this to the former. Some scenes are queer as I show to the left, but the picture is beautiful. After 3 days exciting psychodrama workshop, it is very good to see relaxing movies.

Rod!

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I am going to attend Kasasagi-za workshop from 2 to 4. It will take place in Sennan seaside, the southern part of Osaka Prefecture. As I am not sure how to get there, I asked Dr. Noda to go together from Namba station. He said he would bring big baggage with him and I proposed to carry some. But he said no, because the baggage would contain his precious treasure. Do you guess what? Fishing rods! He said he would fish for sea basses and black snappers. I cannot imagine the main lecturer of the workshop will bring fishing rods for his leisure. He asked me if I laughed at him. No, not at all! I was just astonished or stunned. We, women, always try to bring as small baggage as possible, but men do not mind carrying heavy loads they love.

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